I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
