this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
