if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
