I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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