So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
