allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
