I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
