I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
