Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
