I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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