Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.