That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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