is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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