Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
