**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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