I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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