i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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