hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
