put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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