we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
