put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
