you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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