I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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