I'm so fucking centered right now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
