Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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