I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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