Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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