Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
