Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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