you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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