why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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