just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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