wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize