After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
there is puke in my bra ... again
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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