well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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