My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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