its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
