Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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