Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If I die, sorry about rent.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
