Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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