Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
