His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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