so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
