i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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