remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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