he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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