So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just cropdusted the office
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
