walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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