I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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