I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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