i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
