I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
God, you're like boner-b-gone
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
