she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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