I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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