oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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