I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize