then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
