This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
