I just saw a hot homeless man
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize