i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
