i already hear my dad disowning me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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