She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
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i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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