Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I still have a little drunk in my system
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.