the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!