this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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