i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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