omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize