the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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