Just fell off a train. Bad.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
